“In your soul, you know when it’s time to go”

I am at a crossroad in life where I’m presented with two options.

Option 1: Choose myself. Get a divorce, remain comfortable and hope that eventually I’ll find someone who inspires me.

Option 2: Choose him. Support him. Love him… and hope that he ends up loving me the way I want to be loved.

Honestly put, I am so scared of both options. In option 1, I’m choosing me but I’m forgoing the option to ever find someone who will be family approved but I feel like this will make me happy. This is the option that allows me to love myself the way I want to be loved. In option 2, I’m gambling and gambling hard. I will have to put in the work to mould my partner into the partner I want him to be and support him when all I want in my life right now is to have someone support me. Do I have the energy to build a man?

Option 1 is undoubtedly easier. My soul is tired of choosing the hardest option but aren’t the harder choices always 10x more rewarding?

Option 2 would have been the easier choice if we had a connection worth fighting for. I understand that it wouldn’t have even been a conflict in my head, if we understood and loved each other but we don’t. To say we had rocky beginnings would be an understatement but I’ve grown so much in this relationship that I’m thankful for the person I am now.

So given the option of the harder but potentially more rewarding option and the easier but more peaceful option, what should you choose?

“Sometimes, givin’ up is the strong thing
Sometimes, to run is the brave thing
Sometimes, walkin’ out is the one thing
That will find you the right thing”